fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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