just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
