I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
