When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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