I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
