She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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