Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
