Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
