Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
