Having a random hookup so left but love u
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
