I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
