Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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