I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My life is pants optional.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
