HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
