Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
