oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
