I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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