How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
