Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
