were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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