I feel great
I just peed on a car
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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