I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
