Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
