so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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