Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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