once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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