real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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