i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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