I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
