As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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