I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
