what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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