I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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