the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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