I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize