Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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