dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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