apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
