Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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