so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
