i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
