He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
