Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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