Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
