I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
