College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Rumble strips road head = magical
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
