I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
