i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
