plz talk dirty to me
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
