can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
