I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
