im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Terrible idea I love it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
