So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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