Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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