guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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