Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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