Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
