I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
