i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize