You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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