I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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