I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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