i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
